Part 1

Looking back on it, coming down from Indiana to Louisiana ( a trip financed by dear Dad) was a wild gamble, living in a '92 Dodge Caravan, as I was; hoping for a miracle, I reckon.

That came within two weeks, after an encounter with one of the city's notorious sink-holes; this one the size of a watermelon, deep enough to swallow a tire, bottom-out the front end, and, unbeknownst to me at the time, break the motor mounts.

At length, the van made it over to a shop across from a car rental outfit, in an area of town that had been under four feet of water after Katrina's storm surge ripped through the levees.

Jacques, owner of the "Clinic", agreed to let me do some sign painting. This caught the eye of Dave, owner of "Nifty", across the street, who approached me: "You wanna work? I'll give you work. Paint the place!" he said, with all the social grace of a Mafia don.

Back then, I was still living in my van (next to Nifty, beside Jacques' lot), a less-than-desirable situation. That changed after a visit one night from N.O.P.D.

"Are you crazy?" inquired the officer. I must admit, I had to think about that for a minute. Meanwhile, he's examining the stuff piled up on the dashboard with his flashlight, either failing to notice or not caring about the half-smoked joint in an ashtray.

I think I knew what he meant: "Do you realize how vulnerable you are, living out here on the street like this?"

I assured him that I felt safe, not mentioning the time a rat assiduously chewed off the plastic cover of a baby-wipes container and quietly made off with my bear claw, still in its plastic bag!

"We've had a report of 'indecent exposure,'" the officer explained. Again, I had to think about that, finally admitting that "yes, on occasion, I have urinated outside my van."

"He works for me!" declared Dawn, my office manager, all wild-haired, who broke away from her Saturday hair appointment after receiving a call from the officer.

"We'll have this cleared up by Monday."

That was that. Or as they say in New Orleans: "Dat was dat."